Butterfly Wings

Yes, I took a little reprieve from the blog world.  What with the election going on I just couldn’t put into words my feelings.  I didn’t want to offend anyone. I’m obliged – as acting Mayor – to keep my constituents happy.  Therefore, I do not voice my opinion about any politician (well, except maybe to my nearest and dearest).  But the whole campaign process – I just can’t…I couldn’t.  I hate it!  I hate it!  I hate it!  Both sides of the aisle were just ruinous toward each other.  I won’t tell you whom I voted for, either.  It doesn’t really matter, does it?  It’s all done and here we are.

Anyway, what’s been happening in the interim you ask?  Well, d’Oasis has a few new residents.  This edition of the d’Oasis narrative will be devoted to our newest inhabitant – Fermina Colquitt.  She is the new music teacher over at the high school and her entrance to our population was greeted with joy and inquiry.  Why inquiry, you ask?  This tight knit community is always curious of the lives of new personage. Well, she’s just as cute as her name sounds and has the most beautiful hair you have ever seen.  She is kind of a quiet sort but you can tell there is an abundance of intelligence behind those eyes.   Lou Coalhouse Dixon displayed an immediate crush on this new teacher.  And having never sung in his life, altered his daily class schedule to include choir. You’d be surprised to find out he has the most sonorous bass voice.

Word around town, via the younger d’Oasians, was that Fermina was a whiz at producing the most glorious sounds from the voices of the dHS Choir.  Students not enrolled in Ms. Colquitt’s classes were often herded from the doorway to the choir room.  It is as if we now had our own Pied Piper.  As I’m sure you know, music is good for the soul.  The new enthusiasm at the high school is palpable.  Grades are going up and the sports teams are succeeding as never before.  You know how they say a butterfly flapping its wings in China can cause a tropical storm way across the ocean.  Well, d’Oasis is proud to welcome its newest butterfly.

As excited as the students were for their newest faculty member, I can assure the rest of d’Oasis was on pins and needles to attend the first dHS Choir Concert led by Ms. Colquitt.  We just knew it was going to be something special when the announcement flyers started appearing in shop windows downtown.  It was fun to observe peoples’ head cock to the side – like a puppy to new sounds – when they read the title of the concert on the flyers: How Great Thou Art Garfunkel.  We’d cornered Effie’s boy, Lou, in the Eat It, Too to inquire about the content of said concert.  I mean, it did sound exciting even with the play on words.  He assured us it would be a night of inspiration.

On a Saturday evening, in the Fall, it seemed the whole of the town packed into the dHS gymnasium for the concert.  Choir concerts were usually held at the d’Oasis Public Theatre (d’OPT), but ticket sales required a new venue.  I settled into front row seats on the gymnasium floor with Meems, Teensy and Effie and the whole place was abuzz.  I appreciated their care for the floor of the gymnasium as it was covered with a marley flooring to protect against non-sneaker shoes.  We looked all around at the anticipatory faces and were immediately drawn to the set up of electronic equipment in front of the stage.  There seemed to be three or four electric keyboards, a computer and one of those things that looks like a tile of pads that sometimes sounds like a drum set – I can’t tell you what they’re called.

The lights changed slowly which settled the audience into attentiveness and Fermina took her place in front of all the machinery facing the stage.  She stood in front of the contraptions and signaled the students to make their entrance.  I suddenly recognized a low humming sound, which must have come from those keyboards, and the choir members slowly glided into place.  They were adorned in robes usually reserved for church choirs and I assumed that was in tandem with the “How Great Thou Art” portion of the concert title.  Those high school students looked so excited to present to us their offering.

Fermina turned to the full auditorium and gave a sweet little welcome with an explanation of the concert’s offering.   We would hear the greatest hits from Simon & Garfunkel arranged with a gospel construct.  My gal pals and I leaned forward in our seats sitting high with glorious anticipation.  Ms. Colquitt turned back to the choir and they all took a deep breath together.  Then, a lone chord ever so lightly escaped the machinery in front of Fermina.  It slowly increased in intensity and we noticed the voices of the young singers added with the increase of the chord.

A lone voice in the middle of the choir began the lyrics to “Bridge Over Troubled Water” and the rest of the choir echoed or “aahhhhhed” underneath and the musical chord became the sound of a pipe organ.  The lyrics, music and voices began to move a little quicker and other instruments were added, prescribing the story of the song.  Every eye in the auditorium was transfixed to the stage and to Fermina and to her hands dancing around the machinery in front of her.  I could feel myself breathing with the movement of the music.  We’d never heard anything like it – from the singing of the high school students to the cacophony of instruments transporting us.  Why you’d have sworn there was an entire orchestra in front of that choir.  It truly was magic.

When the last chord of “Bridge Over Troubled Water” bowed its head toward the audience, there was just a second of awe and silence and then an eruption of applause and bravos and bravas and some joyous stamping of feet up in the bleachers.  I’m sure I saw Meemaw wipe a tear from her eye – I mean, who could blame her.  I believe the ovation must have gone on for a good ten minutes.  Ms. Colquitt simply turned and bowed with her choir over and over.  She finally put a single hand up in thank you and the gratitude slowly died down in anticipation of what else was to come.  What an amazing evening of music.  Our favorite tunes were the opening, of course; “The Sound of Silence” (the quietest, most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard); “America;” “I Am a Rock;” “A Hazy Shade of Winter;” and finally, “Homeward Bound.”  I’m pretty sure I saw a few praise hands go up in the audience during some songs – as some Baptists are prone to do – such a true compliment to what Fermina had given us all.

Not a single body moved from its seat the whole concert.  Not a single infant screamed or cried or wiggled.  Every soul in that auditorium was swaying together and leaning in awed.  The final number was met with a second extended ovation until Ms. Colquitt finally released the choir from their places on the stage.  She was then surrounded by a giant congratulatory group of d’Oasians – me and mine included.  There were hugs and “Thank yous” and invitations to meals and more.  Meemaw was finally able to push through the crowd and plead with all to give Fermina some room to breathe.  She pulled that sweet child out of the crowd and mouthed to us, “Eat It, Too.” 

Ms. Colquitt was the guest of honor at our table that evening.  I suppose, as acting Mayor, it is my right and duty to entertain our newest d’Oasian. We gushed on and on about how amazing the choir sounded and the instrumentation provided by her electronics and she sweetly thanked us and nodded and smiled.  She is just as humble as she can be and you can tell the joy that music brings to her life.  We are lucky that we get to share in that joy.  Keep spreading your wings butterfly.

Until tomorrow….don’t be tacky….Peggy.

Twirl Your Banner High

It's another gorgeous day here, in d'Oasis. It's one of those days the girls and I like to call a gift from God. The sun is smiling down on our town and there are just few cottony clouds dotting the sky over Fedderhopp Mountain.

Around three o'clock, I decided I'd completed as much work as was needed, as acting mayor of d'Oasis. I walked out my office door and told Dorothy Jean, "You know it's a crime not to accept the gift of such a beautiful day. I believe we won't be getting any more calls today...so, let's just lock up early and head out for some fresh air." The child beamed at my proclamation and hurried herself up by saving and closing whatever she'd been typing and grabbed her tennis shoes out of the bottom drawer of her desk. After slipping them on, she practically skipped as she followed me out the door. I smiled a little brighter as I watched her float toward the town square.

I decided I would drive over to the mall with the window rolled down. The fresh air against my face was simply glorious. It's about a twenty minute drive to mall and I used all of that time to dance in my seat as the radio played sweet uplifting tunes.

I wanted to get to the mall because they were having a sale at the SAS store and I was due a new pair of comfortable shoes. The young folks turn their noses up as they pass my favorite shoe store but they really don't know what they're missing. As I pulled into the parking lot, I picked out a parking spot away from the front entrance. My heart wanted to enjoy more of God's glory with a nice walk to the entrance. I also parked on the opposite side of the shoe store because I knew further exercise would do me some good - and a little window shopping along the way never hurt a body. Such bright colored and happy clothes greeted me from each window - begging me to come in and take a look - but I had a mission and I didn't quite have the funds right now for frivolous purchases. Mind you, I did stop by the Food Court for a cool drink.

Some concern found its way into my soul as I passed under the skylights in the center of the mall and my eye caught sight of one single dark cloud making its way across the blue sky. I tried to think nothing of it, but I knew I hadn't even considered needing to bring my umbrella with me from the car. I thought, well it's only one little cloud.

I forgot all about that cloud as I paced toward the SAS store and passed familiar faces along the way. We d'Oasians are a friendly lot and I received many smiles and "Hellos." Yes, God had placed such serenity in the hearts of many with this beautiful day.

Walking into the SAS shoe store, I noticed that my favorite sales person was behind the counter. Libby Kindred has been working at the store for as long as I can remember and she always knows exactly what I need when I enter her domain. She looked up from some paperwork and gave me such a welcoming smile. "Miss Fedderhopp! It's so good to see you! We've gotten some new designs in that I think you will love. They look practically like any other shoe and still provide the same comfort and support." I gave a little clap with my nod of approval and we got down to business.

These new designs were so pretty. I knew I would have to control myself and not leave the store with five pairs of new shoes. Keep your mind set Peggy - you only came in for one pair. I'd tried on three different pairs when I told Libby that I really needed a pair of deep blue shoes - almost black, but definitely blue. Libby's forehead crinkled a little and she told me she would go look in the back and see what they had. I had tried on a black pair, a mauve pair and a red pair. I was still singing to myself as I waited for Libby to return with a blue pair.

That is when another cloud came thundering over. A little beep came from the mall's intercom system which always signaled an announcement of some sort - mall-wide. "Meemaw....Meemaw Doolittle! Could you please come retrieve your daughter from the fittin' rooms of the 5-7-9 store! We do not...I repeat...do not have a thong in her size!" My jaw hit the floor with the weight of a hundred bulls marching through Pamplona. I couldn't believe what I'd just heard - and for the whole world to hear!!

"Libby, I'll be back," I yelled into the store room. "If you find a pair in my size, just put 'em to the side and I'll come back for them!" I ran out of the store, knowing exactly where I needed to head. The mall world around me was a blur as I dashed through the building. I stopped so quickly in front of Lane Bryant, I almost fell over my own feet.

Turning into the store, I could see two saleswomen standing outside the fitting rooms in the Lane Bryant. They caught sight of me and sheepishly pointed at the door to a fitting room that was overflowing with sobs. Those poor girls looked beside themselves. I gave them a look of "I'll take care of this" and they edged away from the door and back to the counter.

"Alma!!....Meems (correcting myself), I know you're in there. I just heard what the whole world heard too and I am appalled!! Pull yourself together honey and let's go take care of this!"

A quiet voice greeted me from beyond the door. "I .... just .... can't. I ... just ... can't."

"Now, as my oldest and dearest friend, you should know that we can't just let this happen and not pay it some heed." Then, I heard a little whimper - an intake of breath - and the door to the Lane Bryant dressing room flew open.

I could tell that Meemaw had been weeping, but had wiped the water away and now stood tall in front of me. We both knew what had to be done. "Now, as we walk, Meems, I want you to take deep cleansing breaths because we don't want to make this more of a spectacle than it has already become." She gave me a little nod - eyes still forward - a smile, and lead the way out of Lane Bryant. "You girls can bag up anything Meems had picked out to buy and we'll be back shortly," I said to the girls behind the counter who were staring at us incredulously.

As we exited Lane Bryant, Teensy came breathlessly running up with an Aunt Annie's cinnamon pretzel clutched in her hand. The sight of food in her hand made Meems and I pause. Behind us there was a small scream. Effie had just run up and caught the same sight Meems and I were now staring at. "Well, I had a taste for something sweet. So, I buy these and lick the sugar off the sides. I just can't help it."

"Never mind that, what are we gonna do," asked Effie.

"We are going to march down to that store right now is what we're gonna do," I replied.

"Effie, will you walk with me and hold my arm? The run from the pretzel stand wore me out," asked Teense.

"Sure thing," said Effie and the four of us began our journey toward the 5-7-9.

"1...2...3...4....5....6....7...8....9...10...Can you believe it, Peggy? Can you actually believe it? That girl at the 5-7-9 does NOT know what she has in store," exclaimed Meems all in one breath. "I mean what would get into a person to do such a thing? And after we were gifted such a glorious day! If my child wants to go in and try on clothes in a store she can't possibly wear, well that is her right as a human being. That gal wouldn't have known if Tania Dean was finding success in a diet and simply wanted to find clothes to strive toward. I mean, we all have dreams, don't we? This country was built by dreamers!" It was everything I could do to keep pace with my nearest and dearest.

"Let's slow down just a little bit, 'cause we're almost there. We wanna stop out front and take another little breath before heading into battle." I gave Meems a smile with my little joke. She got it, though she didn't want to. We got to the front of the 5-7-9 store, the four of us clasped hands and took a breath together.

They have that little bell that sounds when someone has crossed the threshold of the entrance. As soon as it sounded, all eyes turned toward the front of the store. I knew, immediately, who had made the announcement as a girl with her hair bleached beyond repair made her way toward us. I'd seen the child many times. Her family once lived in d'Oasis but moved to the outskirts of town when this daughter of theirs was thrown out of d'Oasis High School for continuous cheating on exams. Of course, I should have known her the minute I heard her voice. Katryana Medder Blunt was well known by everyone who came across her path.

"Hey Meemaw!" she screeched, looking just as pleased as she could - all the while missing three of her front teeth.

I quickly stepped in front of my nearest and dearest and my arm flew out in front - palm toward the beaming child who stopped in her tracks. The smug joy with which she greeted us melted and she turned her head a little, the way a dog's does when it hears an unfamiliar noise. "Miss Blunt, I can only guess that your intercom announcement was a horrible mistake made by you when you lost all of your senses for a few split seconds," I blurted. "We have come to escort Miss Tania Dean to another clothing establishment, as yours seems not to employ anyone with any sort of social skill. The child in that dressing room has already dropped a dress size in the past two weeks and she came here looking for clothes that would suit her new visage once her goal had been accomplished."

"But as we can plainly see," came Meemaw's voice from behind me, "you have no interest in helping out a soul which has been revived with hope. Tania Dean come on out here! We are escaping the clutches of this establishment. And you - Miss Blunt - can be assured that your employ here will go no further once I have spoken to the general manager of this 5-7-9 store. Tania Dean ... I said now!!"

Tania Dean had heard everything that took place and decided it was best to comply and follow in the footsteps of her mother. She regally exited her fitting room and smiled as she passed the other 5-7-9 customers and particularly Katryana. She made her way to the line up of friends who stood daring Miss Blunt to make a move and we all turned, in tandem, to gleefully exit.

We'd almost made it to the exit when my nearest and dearest pivoted on her toe and headed back toward Katryana Blunt. "But...before we go, I will need to purchase five lacey thongs in a size 5!" Katryana's mouth dropped open and I could see a glint in Meems's eye. One of the other salesgirls quickly came to the front with the thongs and handed them to Meemaw.

"These are on the house," she said, beaming up at Meemaw.

Meems turned around, walked back to Tania Dean, Teense, Effie and myself and handed each of us a new thong. As she started out of the store, she simply began twirling that thong around her index finger as if she were in a parade. The sun poured back into all of our spirits and we followed suit. The five of us walked the length of the mall giggling and twirling our thongs around our index fingers.

Later, we heard the 5-7-9 store sold out of size 5 thongs that day and that women had been traipsing around the mall the rest of the evening twirling thongs around their index fingers. I can also tell you that Katryana Medder Blunt is now cleaning out classrooms on the graveyard shift at the Dyein' For Style Beauty School. It was the only job she could find after the incident.

I was so proud of my nearest and dearest.

Until tomorrow ... don't be tacky .... Peggy.

Home is Where Your Heart Is

I'm just giggling to myself as I type out these words. My friends know how to keep me in stitches. I was so happy when they returned from their adventure to New York City.

As you know, I'd gone up to New Topia for a week-long mayor's conference. There I was, stuck in the conference rooms at the Ain't It Suites, surrounded mostly by chubby men over fifty wearing t00-tight white button down shirts and tacky ties. I don't understand all those ties for special occasions and sporting teams and cartoons. I suppose men think these special ties are good for a laugh. It makes it all the worse when one of them walks up to you with a big food or coffee stain dried up amongst the tie's decoration.

Well, the meetings were boring, as you can guess, but I dreamed my way through them with thoughts of the girls up in the Big Apple. Mind you there were those meetings I had to pay attention to since I was on the speaking panel. My favorite panels were City Beautification and Planting for the Community. To a certain extent, the panels went hand in hand. I got a great deal of information from Meemaw and Caliope Rose regarding horticultural affairs. They have the greenest thumbs in five counties.

The final panel of the week concerned city budgets and how to make them work. I was up and adam early that day to be fully awake for this meeting. Our recently deceased mayor hadn't found a great deal of success in balancing budgets, though he was a kind kind man. I ran to that meeting and got a front row seat, set up two tape recorders and had my fingers flying on my laptop. I wanted to make sure d'Oasis continued to exist as a fine example of community.

I was so concentrated on paying attention at the final panel, that I'd completely forgotten my excitement about getting back home. I packed up my gadgets as quickly as I could, ran to my room and grabbed my suitcase (thankfully, they had checkout on the television set so I didn't have to stop at the front desk on the way out). Even the rain coming down when I stepped outside couldn't dampen my spirits about getting back to d'Oasis. Hehehe...did you just catch the pun I put into writing? I had to stop and mention it because I was giggling out loud.

The girls had arrived back in d'Oasis the day before and I was anxious to get back and hear the stories from New York City. I had to drive slowly because of the rain but I didn't mind and sang along with the radio at the top of my lungs. Isn't it crazy how, sometimes, the perfect songs come on the radio to fit the spirit you're in?

The previous night, I'd received a call from Meemaw. The girls had gotten back to d'Oasis at 9:00 in the evening and she told me she'd made a beeline to the phone to ring me up at the Ain't It Suites. We talked a little bit about their trip. Meemaw knew I was dying to hear all the news, but said it would be better to get caught up in a group format. I knew she was right and we agreed to meet at her house at 7:00 pm the next night. Meems would get it all coordinated with Teensy and Effie.

My heart gave a little shout when I passed the "Welcome to d'Oasis" sign. The city sign is followed closely by another sign constructed by last year's senior class from d'Oasis High School. It reads "This Place is d'Oasis." I just love the spirit of the sign including the rhyme. Only three more miles to Meemaw's house.

As I pulled onto Doolittle Lane, I could already see Meemaw's house - the porch light on and a glow behind the curtains in the living room. I parked right behind Effie's prize Nova and jumped out of my car. Up the stairs I went and before I could even reach for the doorbell, "Just come on in, Pegs!!" yelled Meemaw. I knew the girls must've been as excited as I was.

I entered quickly, dropped my purse on the chair inside the archway to Meems's living room and ran across to give my oldest and dearest friend a big hug. As Meemaw and I were hugging and giggling with "Hey Pegsss!" and "Hey Meems!," Teensy came in from the kitchen with a big glass of sweet iced tea. I pulled her to me after she set her tea on a coaster and gave her a big squeeze.

"Oh, Peggy...so good to see you," said Teensy. "Hahaha...Peggy, careful you're going to break me."

I giggled, too. "Oh, Teensy...so good to see you!" I finally let her go and looked around for Effie. "Well, where's Effie?"

"She'll be right out, Peggy. Just take a seat. She's in the loo," replied Meemaw as she patted the seat next to her on the sofa.

"Oh...okay," and I sat next to my nearest and dearest friend.

"That tea's for you, Peggy. You must be thirsty after your drive from New Topia," said Teensy, handing me the large, cool glass.

"Thank you so much, Teensy!" I took a long sip and my toes curled as that cool sweet tea spread through my insides.

I had just place the glass back on the coaster when, "Pegggggyyyyy! Heyyyy!" came Effie's excited voice from the hallway. I jumped to my feet just as Effie rounded the corner.

"Oh!!" came out of my mouth before I could stop it. I had to follow it with "....it is sooooo good to see you! Welcome home!" Evidently, Effie'd found a new style during her four days in the Big Apple. She twirled in front of me showing off her new extensions (these matched her own hair), her new flowy prairie skirt and a simple girly top to match. She turned back to face me and blinked her pretty blue eyes at me - eyes that were now completely outlined in black.

I gave Effie a squeeze and heard a little giggle come out of Teensy. "Me too, Teensy, me too," I said, "I'm so excited you're all home. I think if I'd been here in d'Oasis while you were gone, I wouldn't have known what to do with myself. Have a seat, Effie. Y'all have a lot to catch me up on." As Effie and I parted I did admit to myself that there was a new glimmer in Effie's spirit with the new style.

"Our last full day in New York City, Pegs, we decided to do our own exploring. As you might be able to tell from Effie, she found her way down to the Lower East side of Manhattan. She met us that night, for dinner, in her new Bohemian Regalia. But you have to admit it suits her well," explained Meemaw with a wink toward Effie.

"Where's my sisterrrrrr?" came a voice from the front door.

"Shaquanda!!!" I had to jump up to greet the official New York guide.

"Sorry I'm late. I got stuck at the martinizing doing some business," said Shaquanda.

"Have a seat Shaquanda and I'll run and get you some iced tea," offered Teensy. I know I've told you she's about the sweetest soul around.

"Thank you, Teensy," replied Shaquanda.

After Teensy returned and we all found our seats, I looked at the girls and said, "Okay, one at at a time, tell me one of your favorite things about New York City."

For once, Meemaw was itching to go first. I hadn't seen her this excited since the day she got married. Oh, Meems had done some traveling but never as far as New York City. And, well, it IS New York City after all. "Well, we did see a couple of those Broadway shows. You know there's one right in the lobby of the hotel we stayed in? But I'd have to say my favorite moment was standing at the base of the Statue of Liberty and looking up at that majestic symbol of freedom." Her eyes gazed upward as she spoke of the moment. I just knew she would love visiting Lady Liberty. "I think I stood at the bottom of the statue and looked into the eyes of that woman for half an hour. I got a little misty and had to pull out my hanky to dab my eyes. All of a sudden I was one determined woman and climbed every step to the observation area. Oh, Peggy, the whole time I was wishing you were there with me." She looked at me with a big smile.

"Oh, I was Meems. I was," and I patted her hand.

"Me next, Peggy, me next," gasped Teensy. I love to see that child excited. She had a gleam in her eye. "Peggy, did you know that realty company over in New Topia - Century 21 - also sells clothing in New York? Well, I was on my shopping day and saw just a whole lot of people walking into a Century 21 and had to investigate. I walked through the doors and was surrounded by carousels of clothing for sale. And the clothes weren't that expensive. I think I spent all the money I took with me in that store. I practically have a whole new wardrobe." She was breathless with the memory. "Oh, what an adventure...what an adventure!"

"I do love the ensemble your sporting this evening, Teensy," I said.

"Thank you so much, Pegs," her smile widened.

Effie's sing song voice followed, "Come on, babe, why don't we paint the town....and all that jazz! Peggy! Peggy! We saw the most amazing show! It was a little dark and also comical. The cast was full of beautiful people wearing clothes that didn't leave much to the imagination. And they even had a man dressed as a woman, but you didn't even really know until toward the end of the show! It was so exciting. Meemaw got a little embarrassed at the lack of clothing, but I just know she loved it as much as I did!!" I almost couldn't believe my ears. I had imagined, correctly, all my friends' favorite things about New York City.

"Well, these gals kind of wore me out, sister," chimed in Shaquanda. We all laughed. "We did have the best time and I want to thank you for thinking of me to go along with them. I think one of my favorite moments was Meemaw's first bite into a bagel," more laughter. "I knew she thought I'd brought her a doughnut. Her palate wasn't ready for what she tasted, but then we couldn't go a morning without a bagel for Meemaw."

"I brought some home with me in my carry-on, Pegs," giggled Meemaw.

After that, the conversation turned into a free-for-all amongst the girls. I heard all about their experiences with the subway. They even took the bus once. They checked out Central Park, Lincoln Center, Fifth Avenue, Rockefeller Center, Time's Square and even "ground zero." There was quite a lot of running around for four days. Effie even ended up in Harlem on her lone exploration day and ended up having the best time at a little jazz club she came across. The stories poured on and on and we laughed into the wee hours of the morning.

I realized how much I truly missed all of them - even if it was only for a few days. And I was sooo happy they were able to have such an exciting experience. I remembered my first trip to New York City as we talked and knew exactly how their souls felt stepping into that different world. They all agreed they were happy to be home, though. We talked so long, we decided to have a gal's sleepover. I believe I didn't go to sleep until around 3:30 am, but my heart was happy and I had a restful sleep with a smile on my face.

Until tomorrow...don't be tacky...Peggy!

Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

I do realize that it has been a while since my last posting. I am a busy woman, after all. As acting mayor of d'Oasis, I have a lot of responsibilities. There are things to be planned and committees to head and duties to dole out. And occasionally a d'Oasian has a question about this or that - so, yes, I've been a little busy. This isn't to say I don't have time for recreational activities. Those can also take me away from my writing.

But here I am and here are some words for my avid readers. d'Oasis has been just as beautiful as a soul can imagine these days. We have just a few clouds dotting the sky which is exalting in my favorite shade of blue. Each morning I walk out my front door - to climb into my burgundy Caprice Classic - to head to work. I look up to the sky and thank the good Lord that I have such a day to enjoy. I think, sometimes, people don't take the time to stop and appreciate what is being presented to us. It's like that line from my most favorite book/movie ever: "I think it pisses God off when you walk by the color purple in a field and don't notice it."

We have had a number of those kind of days, lately. I find even more joy when I hear Dorothy Jean coming into the office with a song in her heart. On my drive to work, I see that these wonders bring more d'Oasians into the beautiful morning air. I see Lulubelle BonClarken and Maude Smith out front of the d'Oasis General Market sweeping away and bringing more glimmer to the storefront windows. And Teensy is out in the town square lawn surrounded by leashes attached to the sweetest miniature pups you ever saw. The pups are hopping and yipping and rolling around with each other. Viola Jessup rides by me at a traffic light - on her bicycle - with the most uplifting of smiles and her hair dancing in a little breeze.

This might sound silly but it's like one of those scenes in a movie when every soul on the screen suddenly breaks into song. Yes, I'm a little bit of a cornball, but I think a soul has to be to find happiness and sanity.

Just two days ago, we were blessed with a day of uplifted spirits and the annual Fair and Carnival happened to be in full swing. Oh, how we all look forward to the Horizon Fair. It's called the Horizon Fair because if you look north toward the horizon from d'Oasis, you can see the top of the ferris wheel - and at night the carnival lights make a glorious glow. The same thing goes for the inhabitants of New Topia - except for their view is toward the south. It used to be called the In Between Carnival - since it was in between d'Oasis and New Topia, but people weren't too fond of the name. "In Between" somehow made the event sound not quite so exciting.

I'd agreed to meet my nearest and dearest friends at around 5:30 that evening. Effie was driving Meems and Teensy. I needed to finish some work in the Mayor's office. Dorothy Jean had been itching to get to the Horizon Fair all day, so I let her go home at lunchtime. I didn't think there would be too many calls to the Mayor's office that day anyway. I must admit that my heart was racing all that day thinking of the rides and cotton candy, caramel apples and games, cookoffs and pageantry.

I locked up the office at 5:00 pm sharp. I'd brought a change of clothes with me to the office. At 4:45, I'd gone into the powder room to freshen up and put on my casual dress. With a lilt in my step, I quickly got to my car and made a beeline to Horizon Fair.

There were already so many cars parked on the outskirts of the grandstands, brightly lit barricades and tents. I could already hear the sprightly music when I found a parking spot and cut the engine. My entire being smiled with excitement. This fair and carnival had been a big part of my life since the age of three. I do so enjoy when the childly spirit shines in the face of an adult. We have to find a way to feel that presence more often.

I practically ran to the ticket counter to gain admittance and was immediately off to search for my friends. Well, I will admit that I made a quick stop to purchase a glass of the coldest and best-tasting lemonade you ever encountered. And there were many hellos from fellow d'Oasians - Aunt Gibby and Xenobia Addams from atop the ferris wheel, Hoke Jon-Jon Ramirez from the Duck Shooting Gallery, Barbara Jean Merkin-Casselberry from the Guess Your Age Booth (that woman stayed constantly young looking), Jubilee Saskatoon gave me a cotton candy covered smile and wave from the entrance to the Mirrored House, and Janis Dikinson Tatum gave me a little peck on the cheek as she and her cameraman strode by. There were smiles on oh so many faces.

I heard the ring of a loud bell above the din of the carnival atmosphere followed by shouts of glee from familiar voices. I turned to find my gal pals high fiving each other in front of the Show of Strength Tower. Between Effie and Teensy stood Meemaw with an innocent grin and a large-handled hammer in her hands. Alma Doolittle had just rung the bell atop that tower with one swing of the hammer. I couldn't help but laugh - in awe - and ran to give Meems a high five of my own.

We all giggled as Meemaw was given a muscle man doll by the sheepish carnival worker. Meemaw lifted her right arm and flexed it like the muscle man. Of course, that sent us all into immediate giggle fits. "I need some sustenance to maintain my strength," Meemaw said. We laughed even harder and Meems led the way to the hot food cart by the Mirrored House.

We each got a corn on the cob served in the husk which was cooked just right. We paired the corn with a tall glass of sweet iced tea. Effie spotted some tables over by the cookoff area. We parked ourselves at a picnic style table just as they were announcing the winners of some of the cooking contests. Pearl Nova Hasselbeck won the bundt cake competition with her Fire in the Hole Chocolate Bundt. That cake of hers was famous all over d'Oasis. She made the sweetest chocolate icing and would poor a little bourbon in the hole of the bundt and light it up. The fire added to the sweetness of the icing. Siobahn Wiggins - Teensy's sister-in-law - won several awards: the Side Dish Specialty with her Veggie Cornucopia Casserole, the Dishes of Tomorrow with her Tofu Spectacular on a Stick and the Heavenly Meat Award with her Dripping Pork Chops glazed with a mixture of caramel and peanut butter.

d'Oasis was well represented at the cookoff competition and I believe we won every blue ribbon there was to be had. It's a good thing we'd grabbed those corn on the cobs or our mouths would have been watering like there was no tomorrow.

After the cookoff announcements were made, we decided it was time for a few rides. Teensy's eyes lit up, "Oh, we just have to go ride the Tilt-a-Whirl."

"But we've just eaten, Teensy," replied Meemaw.

"Please, please, please, please...." said Teensy, with a breathless excitement.

"Oh, it's one of my favorites, too," chimed Effie.

So, we made our way to the Tilt-a-Whirl. I think Meems and I were a little trepidatious after eating those large ears of corn. "You only live once, Meems," I assured my oldest and dearest friend. Any concerns were assuaged once we felt the wind blowing through our hair in the twists and turns of the ride. The Tilt-A-Whirl was followed by the Around the World in Eighty Seconds ride, the View for Days Ferris Wheel and the Rock Till You Drop Roller Coaster. To bring our breathing back down to earth, we ended with the Merry Go Round and Round. The true spirit of childhood had taken us all over.

We were all out of breath when it was agreed that we'd find a place to sit a while with a cool, sweet iced tea and watch the comings and goings of the Horizon Fair. It was a true treat to watch our fellow d'Oasians having the time of their lives. We saw Hoyt Granger Blackmon ring the Show of Strength Tower bell more than once. Carolina Dakota Eaton was seen on the ferris wheel with more than one young d'Oasian gentleman. Well, she is one of the cutest things you've ever seen. Lou Coalhouse Dixon walked by once, holding the hand of Bianca June Fedderhopp. Effie had given me a glance out of the corner of her eye, hoping I'd approve of that pairing. Well, one can't blame the spirit of the carnival with the pairing up of two souls and Lou is a strapping young man with a good head on his shoulders.

At around 8:30, we heard the voice of Jubilee Saskatoon ringing out over a loud speaker. Jubilee was coordinator of the Beauty on the Horizon Pageant and she was announcing that the contestants were about to parade through the midway of the carnival. We were lucky to already be seated along the designated path. Each contestant would be riding by on a small float, created by themselves.

We watched as each of the five contestants was pulled along the route by a pair of teenage boys. The theme of this year's pageant was First Ladies of the United States. I was sure this would be a special treat. First by us was Miss Meg Dixon, dressed as Martha Washington. She had on this beautiful black and white dress with a white wig framing her sweet face. She kept a placid smile on her face with a simple wave. Next, was Frances Scot Dupree from New Topia, dressed as Mary Todd Lincoln. She was dressed in a simple, deep blue dress with her hair twisted up behind her head. Third, another girl from New Topia, Blanche de Blanc, came riding by as Rosalynn Carter. Her outfit consisted of a pretty business suit style outfit and she stood regally on her float. After Blanche came Little Bit Funderburk dressed as Dolley Madison. She was wearing a sweet, white dress and her cheeks were adorned with a little bit of pink. Little Bit might just make a nice first lady herself. Finally, Connie Sue Ramirez came riding by dressed as Eleanor Roosevelt. I'd never seen Connie Sue look so regal and she was just as pleased as punch to be representing such a stalwart American.

As the last float passed by, we joined the group of people following the parade to the grandstands. The contestants were making their way to the stage when we arrived and found a seat. Each contestant then gave a little speech about their chosen first lady. The speeches were followed by an Americana Fireworks presentation which lit up the sky behind the stage. The judges were counting their scores while we were entertained by the fireworks spectacular.

The final firework exploded into the shape of a tiara and as the lights faded from the tiara, Jubilee stepped up to the microphone. "This year's Miss Beauty on the Horizon is Miss Little Bit Funderburk." We all jumped to our feet and applauded as a teary-eyed Little Bit walked to the front to accept her sash.

Just as the crowd began to find its way back toward the midway, Jubilee asked over the microphone for everyone to hold their place. We all turned in wonder as Jubilee stood smiling up on the stage. "The Horizon Fair has a very special prize, this year, for one of its attendees."

At the same moment, Little Bit Funderburk tossed a bouquet of roses high into the air. We watched as the bouquet sailed through the air toward the crowd. Many hands shot into the air hoping to catch the lovely bouquet. All heads followed the path of the roses as they seemed drawn to the outstretched hands of Miss Effie Dixon. Meemaw, Teensy and I shouted with glee as Effie clasped the bouquet to her.

"Effie, please come up to the stage and find out what your prize is," said Jubilee into the microphone. Effie made her way through the crowd with the biggest of smiles. She was helped up the stairs to the stage by a couple of nice young men and greeted with a hug, by Jubilee. Jubilee had Effie face the audience and with an arm over Effie's shoulder announced, "Miss Effie Dixon, by catching the roses that travelled through the air, you have won airfare for four plus accommodations to New York City!!!!"

Well, we couldn't believe our ears and I think Effie herself became a little faint with the announcement. New York City!! Well, who would've ever imagined. The crowd roared after the announcement was made and groups here and there started chanting, "Effie...Effie...Effie!!"

Meemaw, Teensy and I made our way to the stage to hug our friend. Jubilee was handing Effie a large envelope when we got to the steps up to the stage. We girls were excited about how Effie's luck seemed to continue.

So we wouldn't lose Effie's big envelope, we decided to make our way out of the Horizon Fair and head over to Meemaw's house for some libation and fellowship - and to go over the literature concerning Effie's big prize. Teensy drove Effie's car. Effie thought she'd be too jittery to keep the car on the road. Meemaw rode with me. We laughed and talked all the way to her house.

Once inside Meemaw's house, the excitement in the air continued, as Effie opened her prize envelope. She confirmed that there were four airline tickets inside and a reservation number for the Marriott right in Time's Square. It would be a 5 day/ 4 night trip to the Big Apple. This was one of the most exciting things to ever happen in d'Oasis.

Effie read the congratulatory letter to us as well. We found out the airline tickets had a requirement to be used in the next two weeks. There would have to be a lot of planning done in the next few days. Of course, Effie announced that the four of us would take this vacation together. Meemaw said she was confident that Lou Coalhouse Dixon was capable of looking after the Gas 'n Dash. Teensy announced that Viola Jessup had been helping her out a lot, recently, at Teensy's Teensy Pets and was sure Viola could take care of the animals for a few days.

All of a sudden I shot straight up in my seat. "I'm afraid I can't go! Oh, this is awful!" I said. I'd just remembered that I was going up to New Topia in a couple of days for a week long conference of mayors. It was a very important conference that I just couldn't miss. I was so sad to be missing such an adventure, but there was nothing that could be done.

"Then, I'm not going either," announced Meemaw. "How can I have a good time without my oldest and dearest friend?"

"You are certainly going to go, Meems," I replied. "It's an opportunity you can not miss, besides I took a couple of day trips up to New York City when I was in college. Trust me. You just have to go." My friends gave me the most pitiful smiles. "I have a wonderful idea," I said. "Shaquanda Braid has been to New York City as well. She can use my ticket and can guide you all around the city. She can be an excellent guide."

My friends looked at each other, wondering what to do. I ran into Meemaw's kitchen, picked up the phone and dialed Shaquanda immediately. "Sister, Effie has won a trip for four to New York City and I need you to go with Effie, Teensy and Meemaw and be their guide. I would love to be able to go on the trip but I have a conference of mayors up in New Topia next week....what? yes, of course. All right. I will have Effie call you later with all the details."

The excitement for my friends outweighed any sadness I had about missing the trip. But I also looked forward to hearing their stories of the city upon their return. I'd assured Shaquanda that I could get Maude Smith to look after the Jackson 5-Hour Martinizing while she was away. Lulubelle would be able to handle the General Market and the drug counter for a few days. Shaquanda was just as excited as anyone about the prospects of travels to the Big Apple.

Four days later, I was sitting in my hotel room in New Topia and a smile came to my heart - thinking of my friends exploring New York City. Meemaw's eyes looking up at the Statue of Liberty - a monument to the community of this great country. Teensy modeling the clothing of the city as the girls shopped - her petite frame perfect for the fashion district. Effie's spirit shining like the lights along Broadway. And Shaquanda introducing my nearest and dearest friends to new cuisine. I felt I was there with them and my spirit soared.

It is true what they say - absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Until tomorrow...don't be tacky...Peggy!

I'm a Mess

What an interesting weekend I had. It was eye-opening, to say the least. My sweet niece, Miss Bianca June Fedderhopp, was staying over with me. The adorable thing asked for my help, getting ready for the Miss d'Oasis Pageant. I had been her audience for over a month, as she prepared to perform her musicalized "Declaration of Independence." I, myself, was amazed at the talents this child possessed. I was confident she would do well on Saturday.

We spent the whole day getting our hair done, nails done and ridding ourselves of unwanted hair. It was one of those 'gal days.' Bianca June was absolutely glowing when we left my house to head over to d'Oasis High School.

There were eight contestants in the pageant - Bianca June, Little Bit Funderburk, Sue Suwanee Dixon, and Peg Periwinkle Dixon among them. All of the girls were glowing and putting on their best smiles. The swimsuit portion of the contest was a little racy if you ask me. I don't think these young girls should be parading around the auditorium in bikinis that barely covered. I have to say I didn't know Peg Dixon had a small tattoo on her lower calf. I'd have to ask Effie about it - after all the child is my namesake.

The talent portion followed swimsuit and Bianca June was first up. She truly brought down the house. We'd fashioned a dress out of muslin and sheer eggshell overlay. We'd written out the whole "Declaration of Independence" on the material before cutting to sew, with some of that brown puffy paint. Bianca June looked gorgeous and her vocals were astounding. I know I'm partial but I have to say that Bianca June had to have won the talent portion. The only other talents presented were one amateur piano solo and six attempts at baton twirling.

During the evening gown competition, I had to catch my breath when Bianca June tripped over her dress train and almost toppled into the audience. She took four very big "steady yourself" steps after tripping but regained her composure. I could have just died when I read the horror in her eyes - through her smile. She was able to finish the walk and take her place in readiness for the question and answer section.

Each contestant drew a question out of a fish bowl. The questions were placed there by those attending the festivities, so the girls had no idea what kind of question would be asked.

Little Bit Funderburk stepped forward and unfolded her piece of paper - handing it to Xenobia Addams who was the master of ceremonies. Xenobia read the question to herself first before reading it aloud.

A few years ago, Lou Coalhouse Dixon had slipped a question in which merely read "Are you a virgin? Answer truthfully." Xenobia had read it aloud and the audience gasped. At first, no one knew who could have put that awful question in the fish bowl. All of our good girls are virgins. Of that, we are sure. That piece of paper was passed around to parents and Effie immediately recognized the scrawl. Lou was put on restriction, by Effie, and had to donate a portion of his earnings to the d'Oasis Pageant fund, for a month.

Anywho, Little Bit's question was read aloud. "If you could live anywhere - other than d'Oasis - where would that be?"

With a sparkle in her eye, Little Bit answered, "I can't think of anywhere else in the world I would rather be than d'Oasis. d'Oasis is the most perfect burgh on this planet and everyone I know and love lives here. Why, I might think of visiting other places, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere other than right here." She smiled and nodded her headed to acknowledge that her answer was complete. The audience gave a nice round of applause and Little Bit rejoined the group of contestants.

There were other mundane questions asked but I was on pins and needles to hear what Bianca June would be asked. I held my breath as my darling niece stepped forward to unfold her piece of paper. "What is the capital of Botswana?" read Xenobia. My eyes flashed as wide as I could get them. I remember going over capitals with Bianca June while studying for her PSAT exam, but this was not a normal question for the Miss d'Oasis Pageant.

Bianca June shot a look my way, trying to maintain her smile and composure. Her face read like an easy steps cookbook. There was no denying that the correct answer wasn't coming to her. But suddenly her posture shot up straight and she gleefully said, "Gaborone!! It is 15 kilometers from the border of South Africa and has a population of between 180 and 190,000!" Everyone in the auditorium held their breath and looked to Xenobia for some sort of acknowledgment that the child was right.

Xenobia looked at Bianca June, then the audience and then the judges. Xenobia didn't teach world history so she was unsure of the correct answer herself. She quickly called Pearl Nova Hasselbeck over and whispered into Pearl's ear. Pearl shot out of the auditorium and we sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. Then, the doors to the auditorium flew open and Pearl shouted, "She's right!!" - holding up a book she'd retrieved from the library.

The audience erupted into applause. Bianca June smiled, gave a little curtsey and returned to her place in the group of contestants. I was so proud I could just bust. I grabbed Meemaw's hand and gave it a squeeze. She'd been sitting right by me the whole time, holding her breath as well. We simultaneously pulled out little hankies to dab our foreheads and then the tears that gathered in the corner of our eyes. When we caught each other doing the same thing, we gave a little laugh.

When the question and answer section was over, everyone was dismissed to the lobby for some refreshments. Meemaw and I found Effie and Teensy by the punch. Effie'd needed to sit near the door to the backstage area in case one of her girls needed something. Teensy had arrived late and taken a seat toward the back. We girls chatted over our punch and doughnuts about how we thought things would turn out. It was agreed that it was a close call. The girls praised Bianca June's "Declaration of Independence" song and the child's knowledge of world capitals. We all agreed that Little Bit Funderburk played the piano beautifully and was so pretty. I told Effie I thought Peg's baton twirling was the best of the lot. We all overlooked poor Sue Dixon's almost calamitous fire baton twirling. Xenobia Addams practically sprayed the girl down with a fire extinguisher.

Xenobia came into the lobby with a little school bell, which she started ringing to signify that the time had come. We all took our seats in a hurry. Teensy joined myself and Meemaw at our seats in the fourth row. We all grasped hands and said a little prayer.

The contestants were already lined up across the stage, smiling. Biance June looked down at me and gave a little wink.

Xenobia stepped up to a microphone in the center of the stage, gave a smile and nod to the girls and turned to face the auditorium. You could've heard a pin drop. Xenobia opened a little folded bit of paper and read over it quickly. "Ladies and Gentleman, this has truly been a monumental and wonderful Miss d'Oasis Pageant and I want to thank all the contestants for their hard work. The judges told me that the competition was very close and they went over the score sheets five times to make sure that all tallies were correct. Firstly, I am pleased to announce that the contestants voted as Miss Congeniality, Miss Sue Suwanee Dixon."

Sue stepped forward and accepted her little plaque after thanking all the other contestants. She then rejoined the line up.

"Our second runner up," said Xenobia, "winning lunch for two at the Eatin' Hall Diner - Miss Peg Periwinkle Dixon." A great round of applause followed as Peg accepted her envelope and sash. We could see Effie giving her daughter a standing ovation. Both Dixon girls had represented the family well.

Teensy's and Meemaw's grasps became more firm on mine. Our hearts were practically racing - Teensy looking a little flushed. "And our first runner up," continued Xenobia, "winning dinner for two at the Eatin' Hall Diner followed by dessert at the Eat It, Too..." - no one blinked, no one breathed - "Miss Bianca June Fedderhopp!" Teensy, Meemaw and I burst to our feet applauding. Bianca June stepped forward to accept her envelope and sash with the most appreciative of smiles. I just knew she was dying a little inside and replaying her false steps during the evening gown competition.

Bianca June returned to the line up with congratulations from all the other contestants. "And this year's Miss d'Oasis is.... Miss Fifi Penelope Garrett!" We stood up with the rest to applaud Fifi's victory. The child looked dumbfounded that she had won. I have to say we were a little surprised ourselves. She'd dropped her baton twice during her talent performance. And she'd gotten the hiccups in the midst of answering her question. We barely understood the words that had come out of her mouth. But we left the judging up to the experts from New Topia who always adjudicated the Miss d'Oasis Pageant. The other contestants seemed just as pleased as they could be for Fifi - all the girls were the closest of school friends.

After photos were taken for the newspaper, Bianca June joined me in the audience, still radiating. Any disappointment I'd read on her face after the announcements had washed away. "Aunt Peggy, please say I can go to the movies with the other girls."

"Well, what movie do y'all plan on seeing," I asked.

"It's kind of a tradition for all Miss d'Oasis contestants to go see a movie after the pageant. We keep on our evening gowns, makeup and contest hair and head on over to Plaza d'Oasis," she replied. "You can come, too, Aunt Peggy! It'll be so much fun! It's kind of a celebration and no one really watches much of the movie." Who am I to deprive such an angel of a child a celebratory evening?

"You know, I haven't been to a movie in ages and I'd be happy to attend." The sweet thing threw her arms around my neck and we started gathering our things.

As we arrived at Plaza d'Oasis, I could see there was a large group of people already waiting in line. It was kind of late for all these folks to be up and going to the movies. It was practically eleven o'clock. And it seemed that everyone was in some sort of costume, so the girls in their pageant wear fit right in. I handed Bianca June some money to run and get our tickets as I parked the car.

I caught up with Bianca June outside the door and she handed me my ticket, with excitement in her eyes. "You mean to tell me that you've dragged me to some sort of scary movie?" I asked.

Bianca June pouted a little, but then shot me the biggest smile. "It's not really a scary movie, Aunt Peggy. It's a lot of fun and it's more of an experience than a movie."

"Well, all right child, I like a little adventure," I replied and followed her into the cinema.

We found some empty seats and I couldn't help but be affected by the pubescent energy in the theater. Everyone was just as excited as they could be. I looked around at all the colorfully dressed patrons and could see just how happy the lot of them was. As my gaze went to the right, I noticed a threesome of women who looked a little familiar. I strained my eyes a little and even pulled out my reading glasses.

Well, a big old gasp of air went rushing into my lungs. You know the kind I mean - like when your body knows you and your car are about to get in an accident. "I'll be right back, Bianca June. You sit right here." I made my way out of our aisle and started toward the front.

"Meemaw Alma Doolittle, what is that get up you have on?" I asked when I arrived at the end of the fourth row. It seemed that all sound from the cinema was suddenly sucked out for the shortest of seconds. Just then, my nearest and dearest friend turned to look at me. I can only describe her costume as tight and black and leathery. And for the first time in my life, I noticed that her lips were adorned with scarlet red.

"Peggy.....what in heavens are you doing here?" Meemaw asked. Effie and Teensy seemed to melt in their seats.

"My darling Bianca June wanted to come the movies and told me it would be an experience. What kind of experience I'm not quite sure of but what are you girls wearing?"

Teensy pushed herself up out of her seat, wearing black stockings and and waitress outfit. With a big smile on her face, she said, "Peggy!! You're just going to love it! It's called the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and it's a musical and it's the most fun.....and YOU'RE a Virgin!!"

I almost fell on the floor right then and there for Teensy pronouncing me a virgin at the top of her lungs. Effie was sitting on the end of the row and grabbed my arm as she knew what was probably coming. I'm amazed that I recognized Effie in her black Afro style wig and white rimmed sunglasses. "Not a virgin virgin, Pegs....you're a virgin to seeing "Rocky Horror Picture Show"...and you're going to love it!! You just have to breathe and go with the flow," said Effie.

Teensy was shooing some young moviegoers down the row to make room for me. "Just sit with us, Pegs, and we'll take care of you," she said. Meemaw gave me a friendly smile and pulled me into the seat between her and Effie. They all seemed a little ill at ease to run into me at the theater but were also excited to share this experience with me.

Just about that time, the screen started to light up and a big roar went through the audience. But before the movie started, some kids in costume went up to the front and asked if there were any virgins in the audience. The girls quickly stood me up and dragged me to the front of the theater. Well, my head was spinning so much I can't even remember what type of virginal exercise I'd been put through. When that was over, we returned to our seats and the film started to roll.

The first few minutes of the film all I could hear was audience members yelling random things at the screen. Didn't these people know this wasn't their living room? I hate when people talk in movie theaters. Meemaw noticed my unease, "It's okay Peggy. That's most of the experience," and just then I heard my nearest and dearest friend yell, "Asshole!" then "Slut!" I looked at her with my mouth wide open and she just smiled at me with the biggest smile. "Breathe Peggy...Breathe," she said to me.

So I decided to breathe. Once I understood what was going on I started catching on to the frivolity of this "Rocky Horror Picture Show." This thing was so foreign to me but I couldn't help but get caught up in the fun. By the end of the film, I was just exhausted but happy.

We made our way out of the movie theater and found Bianca June outside, where she and her pageant buddies were giggling and hugging and continuing the fun. Fifi Garrett's mother agreed to drive all the girls home.

I looked at my adorned friends and said, "I think I need a pit stop at the Dizzy Bubbles."

Meemaw was the first to speak. "We can't go there like this. Come on over to my house and we'll have a little bourbon." That brightened all of us up and we were on our way to Meem's place.

I found out that the three of them had been going to the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" since our days at d'Oasis High. They'd all been afraid to invite me 'cause they had no idea how I might react. The things you randomly learn about your friends.

"Well, next time y'all go, I'm getting me a Janet costume," I proclaimed. My best friends in the world laughed loudly and we shared a group hug.

Until tomorrow...don't be tacky...Peggy!

Smoked Ham

Miss Carolina Dakota Eaton comes from a generous d'Oasis family. You may recognize the last name. Our City Hall building was built by Carolina's daddy - Ellis Boudon Eaton. That's why it is called Eaton Hall. After graduating from a women's college, with a degree in business, Carolina returned to d'Oasis with a splendid idea for a new business venture. Carolina knew that d'Oasis was needing a place to gather downtown for food and fellowship.

At the time, there was a space for rent just across the street from Eaton Hall. Carolina quickly grabbed the space and went to work on creating the Eatin' Hall Diner. The diner became an immediate success; though, d'Oasians soon became confused when a friend or business relation mentioned Eaton Hall (or Eatin' Hall) in a conversation. Parties who agreed to meet at one of the locations would lose track of each other as each thought the other was talking about the opposite location. Soon, d'Oasians would refer to the Eatin' Hall Diner as the "EHD."

The EHD serves the tastiest of meals and Carolina overseas the diner's activities during all business hours. They are open from 5:30-8:45 am for breakfast, 11:45 am - 2:15 pm for lunch and 4:45 - 8:30 pm for dinner. Miss Eaton loves to vary the menu and sometimes has theme nights to keep the patrons guessing and varying their palates. The most popular themes involve Mexican food, Thai cuisine, New Orleans Broil and Canadian Bacon Night.

Last evening, Meemaw, Teensy, Effie and I arrived on Hog Tied Night. All entrees included some sort of pork dish and Carolina cleverly attached an "s" to her house wine bottles and offered all her guests a nice glass of "swine." We all giggled at that play on words, though it seemed to make Teensy gag a little bit.

I ordered the Hawaiian Pork Steak served with pineapples. Effie ordered the Pork Chop Suey. Meems ordered the Pork Sausages au gratin and Teensy went with the Pigs in a Blanket appetizer. We like to order separate dishes and then share our treasures with each other. We each had a glass of White Swine and went to giggling about our days while waiting for our dinners to arrive.

Xenobia Addams dropped by the table to remind us that the Miss d'Oasis Pageant was happening this weekend at the school auditorium. I was anxious to give support to my sweet niece, Bianca June. She'd been practicing her talent portion for weeks. She had set the Declaration of Independence to music and would present her vocal interpretation of one of the greatest writings in history.

Oh, Xenobia Addams teaches Math and Living Skills at the high school and is the cheerleading sponsor. She's a tall, lanky gal. She tends to wear shoes with no heel since she towers over the men of this fine town when her height is elevated. She has been coordinating the Miss d'Oasis Pageant for ten years.

The minute Xenobia departed from our table, our food arrived. It was lovingly displayed on our platters and made the table so colorful. My Hawaiian Pork Steak was juicy and delicious. The natural flavors of the pork were heightened with the juices of the pineapple. Effie's Pork Chop Suey was served in a large wok - such an inventive mixture of flavors. Teensy's Pig in Blankets truly looked like little piggies wrapped in a blanket - so cute. Meemaw made a little face when she bit into her first Pork Sausage au gratin.

"What's wrong, Meemaw," asked Teensy.

"Well, I hate to ever make a fuss but I think these links are a little under cooked. Peggy will you take a little bite and see if you think they're under cooked?"

"I....don't know. You know what they say about the dangers of eating under cooked meat," I replied. Meemaw shook her head in agreement with a look of fear in her eyes.

"Maybe I'll just pop it into that microwave oven over there by the soda fountain," said Meemaw.

Meemaw swiftly took her plate to the microwave oven and pushed the warm up button. She returned to the table to continue our fellowship. We gals shared our food with Meems and went on giggling about what our day had been like. It seems Meemaw had seen that mother bear again - while looking out her back window. The mother bear was lurking around the edge of the woods at the back of Meemaw's yard. Well, Meemaw went into her hall closet, grabbed out her shotgun and proceeded to the back deck. She'd opened the door just enough to slide the barrel of the gun through the opening and pointed it skyward. One blast of that shotgun and the mother bear went running. Meemaw figured she'd be rid of that mother bear for quite a while. I remember hearing a loud boom that morning and thought maybe it was Connie Sue's car backfiring - again.

We had all been caught up in Meemaw's tale and didn't realize that there was a little commotion in the Eatin' Hall Diner. People were quickly heading toward the front and back doors. Once we realized there was a commotion, we also heard the beeping fire alarm for the first time. We looked around to find the source of the smoke that was quickly filling the diner.

Effie shot a look of uneasiness at Meemaw. At the same time, we all realized the smoke was coming from the little microwave by the soda fountain.

"Meemaw, are you sure you hit the warm up button," asked Teensy.

"Well, I'm pretty sure I did," said Meemaw, "I've used that thing more than once."

"And were you wearing your glasses when you pressed those buttons," I inquired.

"Um...er..no," replied a depleted Meemaw.

We quickly headed out the door with the rest of the patrons (taking our iced teas with us). Teensy let out a little cough as we made our way through the smoke and out the door. The fresh air was very welcome. We got out into the street and turned to see what actions would follow.

We were out there for about two minutes when Carolina came out the front door with a cloth over her mouth. Once outside, she announced that everything was all right. It appeared someone had put a plate of Pork Sausage au gratin in the microwave that had gotten overheated.

Meemaw stepped forward to apologize. "I'd merely wanted to warm the plate up a little bit, Carolina. I think I may've pushed a wrong button."

"It's all right Meemaw. Nothing is damaged and we're airing out the smoke right now. Y'all may come back in if you wish - though it's still a bit smoky. And all of tonight's meals will be comped, but I do encourage you to still tip your waitresses. They do work hard, after all." Carolina Dakota Eaton is surely a woman of character.

Until tomorrow...don't be tacky...Peggy!

Snippet

Miss Jubilee Saskatoon was in a horrible accident, today, while rehearsing "Waiting for Godot." Word is, she fell on her noggin. After a visit to Cathedral Hospital, I learned that the poor thing will be wheelchair-bound for at least a month. She seems to have suffered some mild paralysis which the doctors think she will eventually recover from. Sendin' love out to our favorite d'Opt Artistic Director. I hope it wasn't a result of all the ... ahem ... 'teatoting' she did at the Dizzy Bubbles last evening.

But I do hear tell that Miss Saskatoon was rehearsing some kind of gymnastic maneuver in the rehearsal, that went awry. I have read "Waiting for Godot" before and don't recall any gymnastics in the script. Jubilee has agreed to go on with the play and will incorporate her wheelchair into the scene work. I know some of you might be thinking that instead of waiting for this Godot fellow, that Jubilee could wheel herself out in search. I will be on pins and needles until the wonders of this production will be revealed.

Effie Dixon has agreed to cart Miss Saskatoon around town and to her rehearsals, as long as is needed. We all thank you, Effie. Don't know what d'Opt would do without their oh so talented artistic director.

Love to you, again, Jubilee.

Until tomorrow...Don't be tacky....Peggy!