We spent the whole day getting our hair done, nails done and ridding ourselves of unwanted hair. It was one of those 'gal days.' Bianca June was absolutely glowing when we left my house to head over to d'Oasis High School.
There were eight contestants in the pageant - Bianca June, Little Bit Funderburk, Sue Suwanee Dixon, and Peg Periwinkle Dixon among them. All of the girls were glowing and putting on their best smiles. The swimsuit portion of the contest was a little racy if you ask me. I don't think these young girls should be parading around the auditorium in bikinis that barely covered. I have to say I didn't know Peg Dixon had a small tattoo on her lower calf. I'd have to ask Effie about it - after all the child is my namesake.
The talent portion followed swimsuit and Bianca June was first up. She truly brought down the house. We'd fashioned a dress out of muslin and sheer eggshell overlay. We'd written out the whole "Declaration of Independence" on the material before cutting to sew, with some of that brown puffy paint. Bianca June looked gorgeous and her vocals were astounding. I know I'm partial but I have to say that Bianca June had to have won the talent portion. The only other talents presented were one amateur piano solo and six attempts at baton twirling.
During the evening gown competition, I had to catch my breath when Bianca June tripped over her dress train and almost toppled into the audience. She took four very big "steady yourself" steps after tripping but regained her composure. I could have just died when I read the horror in her eyes - through her smile. She was able to finish the walk and take her place in readiness for the question and answer section.
Each contestant drew a question out of a fish bowl. The questions were placed there by those attending the festivities, so the girls had no idea what kind of question would be asked.
Little Bit Funderburk stepped forward and unfolded her piece of paper - handing it to Xenobia Addams who was the master of ceremonies. Xenobia read the question to herself first before reading it aloud.
A few years ago, Lou Coalhouse Dixon had slipped a question in which merely read "Are you a virgin? Answer truthfully." Xenobia had read it aloud and the audience gasped. At first, no one knew who could have put that awful question in the fish bowl. All of our good girls are virgins. Of that, we are sure. That piece of paper was passed around to parents and Effie immediately recognized the scrawl. Lou was put on restriction, by Effie, and had to donate a portion of his earnings to the d'Oasis Pageant fund, for a month.
Anywho, Little Bit's question was read aloud. "If you could live anywhere - other than d'Oasis - where would that be?"
With a sparkle in her eye, Little Bit answered, "I can't think of anywhere else in the world I would rather be than d'Oasis. d'Oasis is the most perfect burgh on this planet and everyone I know and love lives here. Why, I might think of visiting other places, but I wouldn't want to live anywhere other than right here." She smiled and nodded her headed to acknowledge that her answer was complete. The audience gave a nice round of applause and Little Bit rejoined the group of contestants.
There were other mundane questions asked but I was on pins and needles to hear what Bianca June would be asked. I held my breath as my darling niece stepped forward to unfold her piece of paper. "What is the capital of Botswana?" read Xenobia. My eyes flashed as wide as I could get them. I remember going over capitals with Bianca June while studying for her PSAT exam, but this was not a normal question for the Miss d'Oasis Pageant.
Bianca June shot a look my way, trying to maintain her smile and composure. Her face read like an easy steps cookbook. There was no denying that the correct answer wasn't coming to her. But suddenly her posture shot up straight and she gleefully said, "Gaborone!! It is 15 kilometers from the border of South Africa and has a population of between 180 and 190,000!" Everyone in the auditorium held their breath and looked to Xenobia for some sort of acknowledgment that the child was right.
Xenobia looked at Bianca June, then the audience and then the judges. Xenobia didn't teach world history so she was unsure of the correct answer herself. She quickly called Pearl Nova Hasselbeck over and whispered into Pearl's ear. Pearl shot out of the auditorium and we sat there in silence for a couple of minutes. Then, the doors to the auditorium flew open and Pearl shouted, "She's right!!" - holding up a book she'd retrieved from the library.
The audience erupted into applause. Bianca June smiled, gave a little curtsey and returned to her place in the group of contestants. I was so proud I could just bust. I grabbed Meemaw's hand and gave it a squeeze. She'd been sitting right by me the whole time, holding her breath as well. We simultaneously pulled out little hankies to dab our foreheads and then the tears that gathered in the corner of our eyes. When we caught each other doing the same thing, we gave a little laugh.
When the question and answer section was over, everyone was dismissed to the lobby for some refreshments. Meemaw and I found Effie and Teensy by the punch. Effie'd needed to sit near the door to the backstage area in case one of her girls needed something. Teensy had arrived late and taken a seat toward the back. We girls chatted over our punch and doughnuts about how we thought things would turn out. It was agreed that it was a close call. The girls praised Bianca June's "Declaration of Independence" song and the child's knowledge of world capitals. We all agreed that Little Bit Funderburk played the piano beautifully and was so pretty. I told Effie I thought Peg's baton twirling was the best of the lot. We all overlooked poor Sue Dixon's almost calamitous fire baton twirling. Xenobia Addams practically sprayed the girl down with a fire extinguisher.
Xenobia came into the lobby with a little school bell, which she started ringing to signify that the time had come. We all took our seats in a hurry. Teensy joined myself and Meemaw at our seats in the fourth row. We all grasped hands and said a little prayer.
The contestants were already lined up across the stage, smiling. Biance June looked down at me and gave a little wink.
Xenobia stepped up to a microphone in the center of the stage, gave a smile and nod to the girls and turned to face the auditorium. You could've heard a pin drop. Xenobia opened a little folded bit of paper and read over it quickly. "Ladies and Gentleman, this has truly been a monumental and wonderful Miss d'Oasis Pageant and I want to thank all the contestants for their hard work. The judges told me that the competition was very close and they went over the score sheets five times to make sure that all tallies were correct. Firstly, I am pleased to announce that the contestants voted as Miss Congeniality, Miss Sue Suwanee Dixon."
Sue stepped forward and accepted her little plaque after thanking all the other contestants. She then rejoined the line up.
"Our second runner up," said Xenobia, "winning lunch for two at the Eatin' Hall Diner - Miss Peg Periwinkle Dixon." A great round of applause followed as Peg accepted her envelope and sash. We could see Effie giving her daughter a standing ovation. Both Dixon girls had represented the family well.
Teensy's and Meemaw's grasps became more firm on mine. Our hearts were practically racing - Teensy looking a little flushed. "And our first runner up," continued Xenobia, "winning dinner for two at the Eatin' Hall Diner followed by dessert at the Eat It, Too..." - no one blinked, no one breathed - "Miss Bianca June Fedderhopp!" Teensy, Meemaw and I burst to our feet applauding. Bianca June stepped forward to accept her envelope and sash with the most appreciative of smiles. I just knew she was dying a little inside and replaying her false steps during the evening gown competition.
Bianca June returned to the line up with congratulations from all the other contestants. "And this year's Miss d'Oasis is.... Miss Fifi Penelope Garrett!" We stood up with the rest to applaud Fifi's victory. The child looked dumbfounded that she had won. I have to say we were a little surprised ourselves. She'd dropped her baton twice during her talent performance. And she'd gotten the hiccups in the midst of answering her question. We barely understood the words that had come out of her mouth. But we left the judging up to the experts from New Topia who always adjudicated the Miss d'Oasis Pageant. The other contestants seemed just as pleased as they could be for Fifi - all the girls were the closest of school friends.
After photos were taken for the newspaper, Bianca June joined me in the audience, still radiating. Any disappointment I'd read on her face after the announcements had washed away. "Aunt Peggy, please say I can go to the movies with the other girls."
"Well, what movie do y'all plan on seeing," I asked.
"It's kind of a tradition for all Miss d'Oasis contestants to go see a movie after the pageant. We keep on our evening gowns, makeup and contest hair and head on over to Plaza d'Oasis," she replied. "You can come, too, Aunt Peggy! It'll be so much fun! It's kind of a celebration and no one really watches much of the movie." Who am I to deprive such an angel of a child a celebratory evening?
"You know, I haven't been to a movie in ages and I'd be happy to attend." The sweet thing threw her arms around my neck and we started gathering our things.
As we arrived at Plaza d'Oasis, I could see there was a large group of people already waiting in line. It was kind of late for all these folks to be up and going to the movies. It was practically eleven o'clock. And it seemed that everyone was in some sort of costume, so the girls in their pageant wear fit right in. I handed Bianca June some money to run and get our tickets as I parked the car.
I caught up with Bianca June outside the door and she handed me my ticket, with excitement in her eyes. "You mean to tell me that you've dragged me to some sort of scary movie?" I asked.
Bianca June pouted a little, but then shot me the biggest smile. "It's not really a scary movie, Aunt Peggy. It's a lot of fun and it's more of an experience than a movie."
"Well, all right child, I like a little adventure," I replied and followed her into the cinema.
We found some empty seats and I couldn't help but be affected by the pubescent energy in the theater. Everyone was just as excited as they could be. I looked around at all the colorfully dressed patrons and could see just how happy the lot of them was. As my gaze went to the right, I noticed a threesome of women who looked a little familiar. I strained my eyes a little and even pulled out my reading glasses.
Well, a big old gasp of air went rushing into my lungs. You know the kind I mean - like when your body knows you and your car are about to get in an accident. "I'll be right back, Bianca June. You sit right here." I made my way out of our aisle and started toward the front.
"Meemaw Alma Doolittle, what is that get up you have on?" I asked when I arrived at the end of the fourth row. It seemed that all sound from the cinema was suddenly sucked out for the shortest of seconds. Just then, my nearest and dearest friend turned to look at me. I can only describe her costume as tight and black and leathery. And for the first time in my life, I noticed that her lips were adorned with scarlet red.
"Peggy.....what in heavens are you doing here?" Meemaw asked. Effie and Teensy seemed to melt in their seats.
"My darling Bianca June wanted to come the movies and told me it would be an experience. What kind of experience I'm not quite sure of but what are you girls wearing?"
Teensy pushed herself up out of her seat, wearing black stockings and and waitress outfit. With a big smile on her face, she said, "Peggy!! You're just going to love it! It's called the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" and it's a musical and it's the most fun.....and YOU'RE a Virgin!!"
I almost fell on the floor right then and there for Teensy pronouncing me a virgin at the top of her lungs. Effie was sitting on the end of the row and grabbed my arm as she knew what was probably coming. I'm amazed that I recognized Effie in her black Afro style wig and white rimmed sunglasses. "Not a virgin virgin, Pegs....you're a virgin to seeing "Rocky Horror Picture Show"...and you're going to love it!! You just have to breathe and go with the flow," said Effie.
Teensy was shooing some young moviegoers down the row to make room for me. "Just sit with us, Pegs, and we'll take care of you," she said. Meemaw gave me a friendly smile and pulled me into the seat between her and Effie. They all seemed a little ill at ease to run into me at the theater but were also excited to share this experience with me.
Just about that time, the screen started to light up and a big roar went through the audience. But before the movie started, some kids in costume went up to the front and asked if there were any virgins in the audience. The girls quickly stood me up and dragged me to the front of the theater. Well, my head was spinning so much I can't even remember what type of virginal exercise I'd been put through. When that was over, we returned to our seats and the film started to roll.
The first few minutes of the film all I could hear was audience members yelling random things at the screen. Didn't these people know this wasn't their living room? I hate when people talk in movie theaters. Meemaw noticed my unease, "It's okay Peggy. That's most of the experience," and just then I heard my nearest and dearest friend yell, "Asshole!" then "Slut!" I looked at her with my mouth wide open and she just smiled at me with the biggest smile. "Breathe Peggy...Breathe," she said to me.
So I decided to breathe. Once I understood what was going on I started catching on to the frivolity of this "Rocky Horror Picture Show." This thing was so foreign to me but I couldn't help but get caught up in the fun. By the end of the film, I was just exhausted but happy.
We made our way out of the movie theater and found Bianca June outside, where she and her pageant buddies were giggling and hugging and continuing the fun. Fifi Garrett's mother agreed to drive all the girls home.
I looked at my adorned friends and said, "I think I need a pit stop at the Dizzy Bubbles."
Meemaw was the first to speak. "We can't go there like this. Come on over to my house and we'll have a little bourbon." That brightened all of us up and we were on our way to Meem's place.
I found out that the three of them had been going to the "Rocky Horror Picture Show" since our days at d'Oasis High. They'd all been afraid to invite me 'cause they had no idea how I might react. The things you randomly learn about your friends.
"Well, next time y'all go, I'm getting me a Janet costume," I proclaimed. My best friends in the world laughed loudly and we shared a group hug.
Until tomorrow...don't be tacky...Peggy!
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