The Fall of Effie Dixon

I was sitting at my desk this afternoon, in the mayor's office, when Little Bit Funderburk came bursting in - is that child ever not out of breath? I held up my hand for a second as I was in the middle of going through some documents and needed to make sure that they would remain in their proper order. After lowering my hand, I heard, "Mayor Fedderhopp.." Of course I had to stop the sweet little thing and remind her that everybody called me Miss Peggy, who wasn't immediate family or one of my closest friends. I think a good mayor (or acting mayor) should have just a bit of familiarity with her constituents.

Little Bit took a breath. "Miss Peggy. There's a bit of concern floating around town about your sweet friend, Miss Dixon." The child seemed to try and conceal a little embarrassment at what she had to relay. As always, I asked her to start from the beginning.

"Dorothy Jean, come on in," as I knew my sweet assistant had to be listening at the door.

Dorothy Jean came in carrying three Coca-Cola's and offered a chair to Little Bit.

Little Bit went on, "Well, I was passing by the d'Oasis General Market and Lulubelle waved at me to come in to see her. I skipped into the store, 'cause the beautiful day had raised my spirits. I'm pretty sure I was humming, too. My spirits subsided when I saw the look in Lulubelle's eyes. She and Maude were huddled up behind the drug counter and discussing something."

I could just about picture the whole thing as I sat back in my chair and pressed the Coca-Cola bottle to my face. That is one of the best feelings in the world.

"I went up to the drug counter and asked Miss Lulubelle if I could help her," said Little Bit. "Miss Lulubelle instructed me that I needed to come and see you as there was some concern about your sweet friend, Effie Dixon. The subject wasn't something they would exactly present to me but that I should tell you that you needed to see for yourself and they'd supposed Miss Dixon would be home by the time I completed my task."

I hadn't the foggiest what was up and I was sure that my other friends needed to be present when I investigated. I asked Little Bit if she had seen Meemaw Doolittle around.

"I saw her goin' into Teensy's Teensy Pets a little earlier. She likes to help Teensy bathe the miniature chihuahuas and schnauzers on Fridays," replied Little Bit.

I asked if Little Bit wouldn't mind running over to Teensy's Teensy Pets and asking Meemaw and Teensy to come on over to my office. "Dorothy Jean, would you be able to watch Teensy's Teensy Pets while Meemaw, Teensy and I run over to Effie's place? You can forward incoming calls to the Mayor's voicemail, but put it on the automatic voice. We don't want anyone calling in and having a heart attack 'cause they heard the voice of our recently deceased mayor."

"I'd be happy to," replied Dorothy Jean. As I've said, her family is very effervescent.

Little Bit and Dorothy Jean headed over to Teensy's Teensy Pets and I picked up the phone to give Effie a call. It had been a while since the four of us sat around sippin' tea and catching each other up on the goings on around d'Oasis. After several rings of Effie's line, she answered the phone a little out of breath. "Well, hey Effie! Did I catch you at a bad time," I asked.

"Well, hey Peggy! No, I was just outside spraying the kids with the hose. It is a hot day and they love to play in the hose water. I'd put the sprinkler on but I think my Lou was trying to fix it and it broke. I try to tell that boy that his talents are with fixing cars and he shouldn't attend to other devices. But you know how children are?"

"Yes I do," I replied. "Hey, Effie, I was thinking that the four ladies haven't been together for a while for tea and a chat and was wondering if Meemaw, Teensy and I might stop by for a ladies' hour. Meemaw and Teensy are headed to my office and we could be on our way in just a few."

"I would love for y'all to come over. It truly has been a while. And I might have a surprise for you, too."

"A surprise? Well, won't that be fun," I said. Hopefully, this surprise could explain what put Lulubelle and Maude in a tizzy.

At just that moment, Meemaw and Teensy walked into my office. I held a finger up to my lips and nodded them into chairs. "We should be over in just a few, Effie. We'll stop by the Gas 'n Dash and pick up something to nibble on."

"Sounds good, Pegs," and she hung up.

As I placed the phone onto the receiver, I started in on the tale Little Bit had already given me. Meemaw and Teensy looked a little confused but were also very interested to see what was what. We quickly gathered ourselves up and headed to my car. There was a quick stop by the Gas 'n Dash. Meemaw knew exactly what we'd need and where it was - as she owns the Gas 'n Dash. It was only five more minutes to Effie's house - just over the other side of the tracks.

As we crossed the railroad tracks, we could see Effie arranging the deck chairs that always sat just outside the door to her single-wide trailer. Well, it was someone with the body of Effie, but there was something attacking what was above the neck. I parked the car in the gravel driveway, took a deep breath and looked at Meemaw and Teensy. All three of our mouths were as open as they'd ever been - in amazement. Meemaw took a deep breath, "Now, let's just get outta the car with smiles and have close inspection of what is attacking little Effie's pate."

In tandem, we opened our doors, grabbed the packages of snacks and headed to the deck chairs. "Hey Effie!" Teensy was the first to speak. I'd hoped Effie couldn't hear the slight waver in Teensy's voice.

Effie turned to welcome us with a big smile on her face and gave a little pose while a hand fluttered around the top of her head. We all smiled as much as we could. Now, Effie has the most beautiful red hair and she likes to keep it short as it's easier to fix and take care of her four children. Effie ran into the trailer to retrieve some iced tea and we all stumbled into the deck chairs.

As if she were floating down the stairs, Effie brought the glasses of iced tea and presented to each of us.

"What have you been up to, today, Effie," I asked.

With a glint in her eyes, "I went on up to the Dyein' for Style Beauty School for my weekly appointment." Effie likes to go up there because the cuts and styles are free and they only allow the advanced students to work on clients. It's very economical if you ask me. "I walked in to the hair studio and there was Tania Dean, Meemaw! They asked me who I would like to work on my hair and I knew I just had to give Tania Dean a chance because I know she's determined to do well in beauty school. They reminded me that only advanced students could work on clients' hair and I assured them that I trusted my hair to the daughter of one of my dearest friends."

Meemaw's chin was just about to hit her lap, her mouth was so wide open. "And you allowed my daughter to place a dried up, bleached blond string of hay on top of your head?" I could hardly believe that flew out of Meemaw's mouth, but we were all thinking it. "Have you actually looked in a mirror?"

Effie's lips started to tremble but she threw her shoulders back and assured us all that every person at the Dyein' for Style Beauty School went on and on about the pretty blonde fall Tania Dean had placed on her head, after a trim and set. Tania Dean had even swirled it into a wideset bun which allowed Effie's red hair to frame the blondness.

At once, Meemaw, Teensy and I exclaimed, "Well, you have to snatch that awful thing off your head!!!" A good friend will always tell the truth.

The positive outcome of the whole experience is that once Effie got that rat off her head, we noticed that Tania Dean had done a fine job on the trim and set. We had our pretty sweet friend back and sat back to fellowship and laugh together. Effie promised to keep the fall to use this upcoming Halloween.

Until tomorrow...don't be tacky....Peggy!