Flying Muumuu

This has been one exciting Tuesday! I was typing away at my desk in the mayor's office this morning. You know I became acting mayor due to the recent demise of the former mayor. I had gotten up early to get to the office as I had a lot to attend to. It was about 8:12 am when Little Bit Funderburk came bursting into the office. Little Bit is the cutest little thing and is not prone to over excitement. Well that child's face was as flush as the inside of a blood red orange - sweat pouring down her sweet face.

"Meemaw is stormin' down Main Street in a tizzy," shouted Little Bit.

I jumped out of my chair and waved my hand in front of the child's face and told her to catch her breath so she could fully explain. After a good minute and a half, Little Bit caught her breath and explained that Meemaw had just shot by the d'Oasis General Market in her bare feet and yellin' at the top of her lungs - something about a bear cub and its mama. I grabbed my hat and ran out of the office, down the stairs and into the streets to look for my oldest and dearest friend.

I just caught a glimpse of pink and orange flashing around the corner in front of the Eat It, Too Bakery. I took off in that direction screaming "Alma....Alma!!" all the while looking behind me to see if I could get an idea of what Meemaw was running from.

It seemed Meemaw's engine had begun to run out of steam and I caught up to her around the benches in the middle of town square. Her eyes were just as wide as I'd ever seen and I thought she might just keel over with the ins and outs of her breathing. I yelled to Little Bit to fetch Meemaw some water and a cool cloth. By this time, there was not a storefront in town that didn't have a group of people blocking its entrance just gawkin' at my nearest and dearest friend.

It took me a few minutes to look down and realize that Meemaw's feet were just as bare as the day she was born. I couldn't help but notice that Meemaw's toenails had been painted the deepest color of red I'd ever seen. She was famous for her make up in shades of pink. I don't think I remembered ever seeing her color herself up with red. I would ask about that later. There was a more pressing issue at hand.

Little Bit showed up just then and shoved a cool cloth at Meemaw, which I took from her and placed gently on Meemaw's heaving neck. She let out a lovely deep sigh at the touch of the cool fabric. Little Bit guided her to the nearest bench and we got her seated and some cool water down her gullet. Little Bit tried to start in on a lot of questions but I gave her a polite smile that said, "Let's give my nearest and dearest friend a little time to find her center."

Isn't it crazy how the heat of a summer day will make a few minutes seem like an eternity?

Anywho, Alma got her normal breathing patterns back soon enough and gave me the nod to let me know that questions could now be put forth. My first question was if she was all right. She quickly assured me that she was fine and safe. So, I asked her to please start from the beginning.

Meemaw had woken up in the cheeriest of dispositions. She'd decided to alter her morning routine which usually began with an immediate shower. This morning she simply tottered around her house in her favorite muumuu and bunny slippers and was singing to high heaven while she made her coffee and toast. After the coffee was made, she stepped out the back door to have a little look at her garden. As she stood on the deck, she reached for her favorite garden hat and then proceeded down the steps to the garden. She'd made one pass in the garden along the row of snap peas and heard a noise that was not in the timbre of her singing voice.

Meemaw turned to see a little bear cub sittin' smack dab in the middle of her back deck - easy as you please. Well, Meemaw had seen bear cubs before, as she lives at the bottom of Fedderhopp Mountain. She wasn't the least bit ill at ease, though she decided on subtle and slow movements back toward the south end of her house. As soon as she made one step outside the boundaries of her lovely vegetable garden, the bear cub's mother came bounding out of the woods toward her - teeth bared. Meemaw didn't have time to contemplate the horrifying outcome of a run-in with a mother bear. Her immediate instinct was just to take off down the driveway and down the street toward town.

It seems her bunny slippers were still sitting at the edge of the vegetable garden in the exact same position Meemaw was standing when the mother bear was first spotted. She can't seem to remember where her favorite garden hat fell off. I'm sure a kindly neighbor will return said item to my nearest and dearest friend.

Little Bit asked Meemaw if she needed anymore water. Meemaw replied, "Well aren't you the sweetest thing? I think I'm fine now...but...OH MY GOD!!" It was at that moment Meemaw realized she was in the center of town wearing just her muumuu. Somehow she'd thought to also put on her girdle before venturing out to the garden and she was thankful for that kind of support during her heart-racing sprint through downtown d'Oasis.

I asked Little Bit to run over and inquire if Hoke Jon-Jon Ramirez and Chester Hottentot would be so kind as to check out Meemaw Doolittle's house for evidence of a bear cub and it's mama. I reminded her to ask Chester to take his rifle with him just in case and if they needed extra help I was sure that Lou Coalhouse Dixon would be more than willing to climb out from under whatever car he was working on and lend a hand. Little Bit's excited eyes glinted in the sun and she was gone in a flash.

I helped Meemaw to her feet and told her we could go back to my office and cool off some more, maybe have some sweet tea. Meemaw said, "Well, as long as I'm already downtown in this condition, we may as well just head to our booth at the Eat It, Too." Meemaw does have a wonderful matter-of-fact outlook on life. We went on to the Eat It, Too and spent most of the rest of the afternoon entertaining guests at our booth. Meemaw, through laughter and tears, regaled d'Oasians with her tale of the bearcub and its mama. I later heard that the high schoolers were calling it the Tale of the Flying Muumuu. It's not the nicest title but I believe Meemaw can enjoy the humor in it.

Until tomorrow...Don't be tacky....Peggy!